Musings of MicahGirl

Benign, benign

2008-08-20T10:51:00.001-04:00

The biopsy came back and it was benign.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Micah Girl

Busy-ness as a blessing

2008-08-06T08:12:00.002-04:00

Busy-ness is sometimes my friend. We have family in town and have been entertaining my brother-in-law, his wife and their two kids. All the cousins are really enjoying their time together. My sister-in-law has also come back and plans to live with us indefinitely. We are planning several days at the lake starting tonight.

Last night my kids went to the open house at their school to meet their teachers and to get a little taste of what public school will be like after being homeschooled all this time. I have a fourth grader, third grader and first grader, all at the same school less than five minutes from the house. I joined the PTA, signed up for volunteer spots and expect to spend a good bit of time there. The kids are excited and some of their nervousness has dissipated because the teachers are very kind and nurturing. I know that I will have some separation anxiety, but I feel certain this will be a good experience for the kids.

But by being busy all day, I don't have much time to worry about biopsies or not spending as much time with my kids. Instead I go about my day and only at night do my worries haunt me. Fortunately most nights I'm tired so I'm not up long...

2008-08-01T09:44:00.002-04:00

25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength [6] of my heart and my portion forever.

28 But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works.

Psalm 73:25,26,28

17 O God, from my youth you have taught me,
and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
18 So even to old age and gray hairs,
O God, do not forsake me,
until I proclaim your might to another generation,
your power to all those to come.

Psalm 71:17,18

Anxiety

2008-07-31T08:28:00.004-04:00

I have been having trouble sleeping because my mind goes into overdrive.

What if...

How will my family cope...

How could God allow...

Morbid thoughts swimming in my mind.

And yet, my God is faithful. He is in charge. He holds my days in His hand. Yet will I trust Him.

After many disciples turned away from Jesus, he asked the twelve if they also wanted to leave. I love Peter's response, and it is one that I often say in my own heart.

Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."
John 6:68, 69

Although I am frightened, where else can I go? Only to Jesus who has the words of eternal life.

Biopsy scheduled

2008-07-29T13:20:00.002-04:00

So yesterday I went for my 2nd mammogram. The technician squeezed me into several uncomfortable positions (although she was gentler than the first tech I had). There were two spots they were concerned about. One seemed to compress properly and not be problematic. The other one would not. The doctor read the films and called me in for an ultrasound. The ultrasound could not pick up the trouble spot because of the dense breast tissue which I just KNEW would be a problem. So she has scheduled me for a biopsy. When I found out, tears began streaming down my face. It took the doctor aback. I was shaken more than I expected. I understand that statistics are in my favor, that the biopsy is minimally invasive, that it's better to be safe than sorry. However, my emotions really got the best of me. I'm not so scared today, although I really didn't sleep much last night. The biopsy is in a little over two weeks which will be after my children have started school. Only my husband and one of my girlfriends knows. I've told no one else. It's too long a period of time to wait with uncertainty and having lots of people on alert. I don't know--I'll probably tell some people before the biopsy. I'm hoping it will be a non-issue. I'm trusting that God's got my life in his hands. I'm scared, but I'll make it.

I shall not be afraid

2008-07-28T07:31:00.004-04:00

This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise,in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me? Psalm 56:9b-11 From the daily reading today at Book of Common Prayer Daily Office Lectionary.

I have a second mammogram today. I'm sure it will be nothing, but you never know. I had my first baseline mammogram about a month and a half ago, and I just knew that I would have to go for a second. I've read that women with dense breast tissue often require 2nd readings. I'm not looking forward to it, but I am trusting that I'll get a good report and I am very grateful that I have health insurance. I shall not be afraid.

Micah Girl

I'm on Facebook!

2008-07-24T08:21:00.003-04:00

Well, that is, I'm on Facebook--not "Micah Girl." I held off joining for years and finally decided to sign up this week. It's been fun to see who else is on it and to reconnect with some people. I've been trying to show tremendous self-restraint and not be on it all the time. It's also strange because my only other major internet presence is anonymous blogging, and Facebook is the opposite of anonymous. I'm also mindful of the fact that once I get back into school or get another "real job" people are going to be checking it out, so I want it to be personal and honest, but keep it professional enough not to be embarassed about silliness. The thing I love about this blog is that I have freedom to just say what's on my mind without fear of a job interviewer quoting me on it.

My parents are coming to visit us for a week at the end of August/beginning of September and I am so excited! I've missed them so much, and I just pray that my dad especially will enjoy the time here and won't find it too stressful. He loves his routine and his health is not great (but I don't think his health is as bad as he thinks it is.)

I am studying for my GREs now and it's been interesting to see how much I have forgotten. However, I am slowly getting back to speed, especially with the math and geometry which I did manage to get A's and B's on (back in the 80's). The verbal part is just fun for me, and I relish reviewing vocabulary lists because I am that kind of geek. Ah, to be a full time geek again, how fun will that be??

It looks like another beautiful day. My kids are off to swim classes and then we have another young friend coming over to spend the afternoon. That means I'll have some time to study some more and just to sit and think. As if I don't do enough of that already.

Endless possibility

2008-07-10T08:10:00.003-04:00

In the morning every possibility opens before you. Today is the day I will begin that new workout habit of 60 minutes a day. Today I will devote my spirit to God in an ecstatic devotional time. Today I will bake the perfect loaf of whole wheat bread. Today is the day that I will joyfully whiz through my GRE prep books and be amazed at how much test-based wisdom I already possess. Today is the day that I lead my children through an amazing summer day filled with laughter, learning, and memorable fun all while boasting a Julie Andrews smile. Today is the day that I plan a dinner for my husband that boggles his mind and then... well, that's not for me to blog about. This isn't that kind of a space.

I do love mornings and I sometimes allow them to get lost by sleeping too late, or turning on the morning news, or wasting my energy cleaning up my inbox. A great morning would start early, with exercise and prayer and bible study followed by some fresh air and good coffee in the backyard. There is no reason why I cannot do that. My schedule is largely my own. I am in an enviable position of being in charge of most of the hours of my own day. Lord, I should never take this for granted! How many people are crushed by schedules that are thrust upon them in jobs that they hate?

Once my children are in public school this fall for the first time, I need to be even more careful of my time. To be sure that I am available to my family, yes, but also to be sure that I spend my time carefully and that I do not waste the hours I have been given. I am thinking hard about what I could do to earn money without sacrificing the flexibility of making my own schedule. What great idea lurks just a synapse connection away?

Possible idea: Conversational English tutoring.

Has possibilities.

Onto the reality of my day which also could hold any number of exciting new ideas.

Micah Girl

Quiet space on a forgotten blog

2008-07-07T07:55:00.003-04:00

This blog is my quiet space this morning to think out loud. The few people who used to read it periodically have probably long forgotten me, so I think I am talking to myself. This blog started in anonymity so that no one who knew me would recognize my stream of consciousness ramblings. I told a few people I knew how to find Micah Girl and think that they were much less interested in my blah blah blah than I might have imagined. And for a little while in random spurts, I would have readers who knew me not at all comment heartily on my peronal rants.

I feel like a new person here in my new city with my new friends and my new roles. My children will go to public school in the fall, so I will no longer be a homeschooler. When I left New England I left behind my job as a collegiate minister, so my "professional Christian" identity is gone. I have been so busy around our new home (so beautiful!) painting and decorating and filling it with yard sale treasures, that I've gone to bed quite sleepy most nights, even without an additional outside job.

I still wish to pursue a PhD, but need to focus on that aspect over the next several weeks, taking the GRE, applying, etc. in order to allow that part of my new identity to find its way. Lord, help me not to get sidetracked by the daily so that I neglect my long-term goals.

I need to start writing again and with abandon. Perhaps it will take place here, or perhaps in another forum. But my writing muscles are longing for exercise, and my brain needs the clarity that comes with pouring out the whirl of thoughts that constantly buzz in my head. Whether or not it is something that someone else wants to read really doesn't matter. What does matter is that I want to get it out and while sorting through all the mental clutter, I hope that I will refine my thinking so that I can set and pursue goals more clearly.

All this to say that I think that Micah Girl has returned to writing her blog. We shall see.

Blessings,

Micah Girl

Becoming a friend

2008-02-19T07:54:00.003-05:00

Since we have been in this new place, I have been very blessed with friendly people who have been hospitable and kind to us. I have been invited to parties, my kids have had playdates, people check up on how we are doing, and have been genuinely nice.

I am realizing my own shortcomings as a friend and that if I want to develop real relationships here, I need to make sure that I am taking initiative as well. I need to become the kind of friend that I want to have. It's a very simple formula. It reminds me of the advice I read when I was young and single and desperately wanted a boyfriend/husband: Become the kind of person you would like to marry.

What do I long for in a friend? That is the kind of person I am to become.

* A praying friend who specifically remembers me in prayer.
* A thoughtful friend who remembers details of my life and rejoices with me or cries with me.
* An honest friend who isn't afraid of the truth but is always kind.
* A friend who enjoys laughing and playing together.
* A person with whom I can simply be myself.

Some of my most glaring faults face me when I look at a list like this. I get caught up in my own urgent day-to-day with my husband and my kids and my thoughts and things slip by my attention. Help me, Lord, to look beyond myself and to serve others as You do.

Micah Girl

Your will, not my will

2008-02-09T07:23:00.000-05:00

The reading in today's One Year Bible Blog includes Jesus praying in Gethsemane: "Your will, not my will." It's my prayer for today. It's one of those wonderful things that can be prayed over and over throughout the day to remind me that it's all about what God wants to do, and not about me.

And then this wonderful promise from Psalms:

How great is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.
Psalm 31:19

Blessings.

Shalom

2008-02-07T13:48:00.000-05:00

Shalom.

Wholeness.

Peace that passes understanding.

That is what the Lord has been teaching me to seek. I have had over a month now in my new space. We left Massachusetts in December before Christmas. We spent nearly a month in California kicking back with family and relaxing after our frantic year of preparing a house for the market and selling it. We have been here in Lexington since the beginning of January.

We are still waiting on many things. My husband's job. Our new home search. Finding a home church. My application into the doctoral studies I moved here to be able to pursue. My "career" here besides wife and mother.

We have been blessed with many things I did not expect so soon. Great neighbors. Friends for the kids. Women I can call my friends. Quality time with my husband.

I am still waiting, but I am reaching deep for the shalom that God has promised and trust that He will reveal new things to me each day.

Change in plans

2007-10-08T07:56:00.000-04:00

Our buyers' financing feel through after 2 months of trying really hard to get it together. So we are leaving our temporary, fully furnished dwellings that we are renting and are moving back to our old house. Which has no furniture because we gave it all away in anticipation of a big move. So we'll be camping in our old house. We are praying that the Lord will send us the right buyer at the right time. We still hope to move in December, but the house has to sell first...

Although disappointed, we are grateful that we are renting and not stuck in a lease. We're also grateful that we don't have two mortgages which does indeed happen to people.

Aah, well.

Micah Girl

Letting go/private thoughts

2007-09-29T14:21:00.000-04:00

Our house is supposed to close tomorrow, we hope. There have been many delays and I feel bad for the family that wants to move in even as I am anxious about it not being "official" yet.

I am spending too much time searching for real estate in Kentucky. It's easier than being present here.

When I am involved here in ministry--both college and at church--it almost hurts because it's not mine anymore--and yet it never was--it's God's. That's humbling because I thought I understood that, and my emotions tell me I really didn't.

I am so grateful for my husband and my children and the family that we are--even though I grieve at the ways that I fail my extended family here in New England as well as my husband's family in CA. I'm not good at staying in touch. I'm not good at reaching out of my busy life to the outer circle of family. Selfishness.

I have old friends that I love that have moved on and I am not good at keeping up with people and I have so many regrets. I've been praying that God would send me a special girlfriend when we move, and yet I wonder if I am good at being a good friend.

I pray about homeschooling which I love and wonder will we continue or will I be giving that part of my life away, too?

What does God really have for me and for us? I don't know--I trust it is good, but I am still melancholy. I'll just blame it on the maudlin Celtic blood that runs through my veins.

Micah Girl

Prayer and high anxiety

2007-09-08T07:40:00.001-04:00

We are praying for the closing on our house which keeps getting put off because of verification requirements for our buyers' financing. My husband seems like he is not worried. I am incredibly anxious and praying for resolution all the time. At this point it looks like we won't be closing until the end of this month (it was supposed to be last month) and I am just praying that it will all come together for all parties involved.

We had our first college worship service this week and it was so great to be back. I taught and led an interactive discussion and it was so nice. When I am with my college students--I feel like I have the best job in the world. When I am homeschooling my kids--I feel the same. As we transition out of here, I probably won't be a college minister anymore (although I expect never to stop ministering to collegians) and I may or may not be a homeschooler depending on how we feel God is leading us. My identity is so tied up in these two jobs, that it makes me nervous to think of who am I without these tasks?

In the meantime, God is providing for all of our needs. We have joy and meaning and purpose. We have a church family that we love. We are constantly making new homeschooling friends. We have new college students in town to love and care for.

And who of us by worrying can add a single hour to her life--or hour to her week for that matter?

Micah Girl

Fall is here...

2007-08-31T11:24:00.000-04:00

Well, maybe not by the calendar, but I'm in full Fall mode.

Had a big party with my college students last night at my house. About 20 students were there eating and laughing and playing and filling up our temporary "mansion" well after dark.

Working hard at homeschool with the kids. Looking for some new curriculum. I am investigating what kind of web-based things I might consider trying, especially for math. Right now I'm seriously looking at Time4Learning. My kids tried out the demos and it looks like a possibility for us...

Looking forward to our big move to Lexington, KY and started making virtual friends with some homeschoolers there. It seems like there will be lots of places to connect.

Also can't wait for some cool nights when we can light fires in one of the three fireplaces in the house where we are living temporarily. How exactly we got to me living in a beautiful mansion with three fireplaces is a story for another day...

Micah Girl

God is moving us out...

2007-08-04T07:26:00.000-04:00

Our house is under agreement. We got a good offer after only two weeks on the market. Wow.

We are scrambling for short-term rental so that I can spend one more semester with my college students and help with transition in the ministry and also at our church.

I just received a copy of The Divine Hours, Pocket Edition, Phyllis Tickle. I can hardly wait to dig in. Will post my thoughts once I do. Don't you just love it when you get great books to read and review??

I still spend daydream time looking for homes in Lexington, KY--which actually will be home in December!

The Lord has helped us to keep our heads so far, and I trust He will continue to guide us.

Micah Girl

The next spacious place

2007-06-28T06:10:00.000-04:00

Move on to the next spacious place...

Psalm 18:19 He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Psalm 31: 7-8
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.

I often describe my life as a spacious place--my husband, my children, my ministry here to college students, my circle of homeschooling friends, my church, my neighbors. In my twenties when I went through a period of deep grief and mourning after the death of a boyfriend, I was at the point of utter despair. And I cried out to God who rescued me, healed me, and called me out to a new and spacious place. I met my husband, started seminary, got married, started a family and began to minister to college students. A sweet, sweet life.

And now as we have prayed and talked and planned and prayed and talked and planned, we have decided to move on from here. We are cleaning and painting our house and preparing to put it on the market. We are seeking closure in our spiritual responsibilities here and looking to pass on our passions to other leaders. We are saying goodbye to friends who are leaving also because God is calling them to other places--home to China, relocating to Texas, moving to Colorado. And my circle here is tightening on my heart and part of me wants to hold on for dear life because it is familiar and comfortable.

I was praying last night in my room, in the heat of a sweltering night, with the ceiling fan and the window fan blowing over my thoughts. The Lord led me to a specific verse:

Psalm 103:5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

Sometimes the Holy Spirit impresses on my heart a verse, usually from a psalm, and then I need to go look it up. This one reminded me that the desires that Jesus has placed in my heart will be satisfied with good things and that change will renew my youth and make all things fresh. And God spoke to me and told me, "Move on to the next spacious place." Over and over again. "Move on to the next spacious place."

So I plan to move on to the next spacious place. In spite of my fears.

Micah Girl

Gentle and quiet spirit

2007-05-30T08:01:00.000-04:00

As I look forward to big changes in our life, I have also been struggling with fear...

Fear of making a big mistake.
Fear of being out of God's will.
Fear of things left undone as we move on.
Fear of accidents, disease and death.
General unease in the pit of my stomach that keeps me awake at night.

So this morning I have been looking up verses on fear in the NT. Thankfully, I decided to camp out in 1 Peter. So many verses reassured me...

1 Peter 1:17
Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear.

My fear should be reverent fear of God--not of disaster, ruin or fantastic thoughts.

1 Peter 3:1-6
1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

I was struck by the connection between a gentle and quiet spirit and not giving way to fear. As I submit myself to God and He quiets my anxious thoughts, my gentle and quiet best self will shine through, and I will not be overcome by fear.

1 Peter 3:13-16
13Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." 15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

I do not neeed to fear as those who do not know God. I have Him to guide me and save me. From that flows a gentle and respectful confidence that can guide me through changes or trials.

And of course one of my favorite verses from elswhere in the NT:

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

God is love and perfect love drives out fear. As God makes me perfect in His love, the fear must flee!

Micah Girl

The Promised Land AKA Lexington, KY

2007-05-23T19:09:00.001-04:00

I am finally here visiting with my family and I must say I love this city. So clean, so green, so well-organized, so affordable! There are so many interesting things to do and learn. The Kentucky Horse Park and Keeneland are unbelievable! And so many parks throughout the entire city in addition to the famous postcard-perfect horse farms. I am eager to study horses with my kids now.

I spoke to someone at the University of Kentucky and am excited about my possibilities there for doctoral work.

When we return home we will be making plans to move. We are in love.

Micah Girl

End of semester--beginning of work

2007-05-02T08:58:00.000-04:00

My life is freer--workwise
Busier--householdwise

Our roadtrip to KY is in 2 short weeks and I have to have the house in good order because when we return my in-laws will be staying with us. Also, we might even start preparing to put our house on the market and if the clutter isn't gone it will be hard to start painting and deep cleaning!

I also have to finish my "scintillating" CV which is only the roughest of rough drafts as I have an interview with academia to discuss my doctoral ambitions.

And I need to continue with my usual routines of schooling kids, exercising, daily maintenance of my household and plenty of work at church.

To me this list is fascinating. To you, whoever you are, you probably feel as if you found my to do list on a scrap of paper blowing in the parking lot.

Micah Girl

An inside look

2007-04-07T14:30:00.000-04:00

In the kitchen:
Two loaves of gorgeous Portuguese sweet bread baking in the oven.
Two dozen white hard-boiled eggs (minus a couple cracked ones) sitting in a pot awaiting dyeing.

In the bedrooms:
A napping husband and children who are down on sleep because of particularly stubborn colds and coughs.

In the quiet:
A content Micah Girl with a fresh brewed cup of coffee and list of things to do that I will soon get a start on.

In the next several weeks:
Wrapping up the semester, preparing for summer missionaries, getting ready to road trip to Lexington, KY, to see if that is going to be God's next place for us.

In my head:
A mish-mash of today's to-dos, future possiblities, and looking forward to the celebration of Easter tomorrow.

Good Friday

2007-04-06T18:59:00.000-04:00

Thank You for the unbelievable gift of Yourself, Lamb of God.

Thank You that you took away the sins of the world once and for always.

Renew us and allow us to repent from our smallness and our meanness and to pour ourselves out for Your glory and for the good of others.

Clever title here

2007-03-31T18:28:00.000-04:00

Blogging is one of those things I have a love/hate relationship with--

like laundry, it's never done
like transparent personal conversations, it can be misunderstood or used against you
like introspection it can become selfish and idolatrous
like high school photos it can be just plain embarassing in retrospect

Most often it's just neglected...

Micah Girl

The key to fighting your spouse

2007-03-27T09:13:00.000-04:00

I learned early on in my marriage that when I get into a conflict with my husband that there is one important key--never fight against my husband, but never be afraid to fight for our marriage. My marriage is my number one earthly priority and most squabbles are utterly forgettable. On those occasions when a greater principle is at risk, then I must be wise and fight for the unity of our marriage, while never degrading or disrespecting my husband who means the world to me.

One of my favorite proverbs is Proverbs 14:1-

The wise woman builds her house,
but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

As a woman, I need to always pray for the wisdom to build up my marriage and my family, to build up my ministry, to build up my friendships, to build up my local church. It is foolishness to tear it down brick by brick by not submitting myself to God and trusting in His work in my life.

Micah Girl

Waiting for my name

2007-03-21T18:43:00.000-04:00

I respect the person of the Holy Spirit and His work in my life. I have heard Him speak to me through His Word, in my heart, in my circumstances and through other people. Sometimes, however, I envy my charismatic sisters and brothers who always seem to have a fresh word from God--a dream, a vision, a sign from Heaven. It's not that I feel out of touch with God--just that He hasn't yet spoken to me in that kind of drama.

I have been studying and teaching about Jacob for the last few months. Today I was reading through Genesis 32 which I will be teaching on Sunday morning. I was struck at how God reveals himself to Jacob in this chapter--first through revealing His angels to Jacob and then in a mano a mano wrestling match. Wow. I would like that kind of revelation in my life, although I expect that I, too, would walk with a limp after coming face to face with God.

The other thing that strikes me is the way Jacob names a place after an encounter with God. After wrestling with God he names the place Peniel which means "face of God." I have never named a place or erected a stone monument to an encounter I had with God. Today I was burning with desire to name our next home when we move. But what name? What would it signify? Where would I place the nameplate? How would I tell the story to my visitors?

Jacob also gets a new name--Israel. What is my new name, Lord?

I am awaiting a word from the Lord, a sign that He is directing me to new lands, new challenges, new adventures. I am waiting for my name.

Micah Girl

Shepherd

2007-02-28T19:49:00.000-05:00

Jesus is our Shepherd. The Good Shepherd. The keeper of our souls. The familiar voice to follow. The one who leads us to good pasture. These have become Christian cliches in so many ways--yet they are true. To really meditate on who our Shepherd is and on the abundant life He offers is more than just a watercolor devotional. The reality is gritty and mundane and gracious. Much more powerful than we realize...

I found this poem today...

The Good Shepherd
by Mary Van Nattan

Psalm 23:1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.

A silent pool, a deep refreshing draught,
The purest water from the purest Rock -
These shall be yours,
Oh, thirsty flock of Jesus.

A pasture green of richest grass so rare,
That all abide in satisfaction there -
This shall be thine,
Oh, hungering sheep of Jesus.

A quiet resting place, a cool retreat,
A shield and shadow from the burning heat -
These shall be yours,
Oh, weary flock of Jesus.

A strong Deliverer, a faithful Guide,
A tower of refuge, a wall on every side -
These shall be thine,
Oh, fearful sheep of Jesus.

A Shepherd kind, a Friend forever true,
A gentle touch, a comforting word to you -
These shall be yours,
Oh, suffering flock of Jesus.

A warm embrace, a folding safe within,
A place called home, sweet fellowship and kin -
These shall be thine,
Oh, lonely sheep of Jesus.

John 10:11 I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep...
14 I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.

Friday Five: Companions on the Way

2007-02-23T16:59:00.000-05:00

I haven't done a Friday 5 in a while--but here's one!

5 Companions for the Lenten Journey

1. Brother Lawrence--so that I can learn better to practice the presence of God.
2. Hannah Whitall Smith--so that I can learn the simplicity of a happy and thankful heart.
3. Mother Teresa--so that I can learn to pour myself out for Jesus.
4. Anne Morrow Lindbergh--so that I can steal away and meditate by myself.
5. A deeply funny and wise friend with whom I can laugh and tell the truth.

1st Day of Lent

2007-02-21T09:14:00.000-05:00

Lent is one of the wonderful church traditions that has always been around me because I grew up and live in a very Catholic area of the country. Among evangelicals who come from non-liturgical traditions there is a growing emphasis on Lent. Each year I try to keep it in a significant way, but without participating in the other traditions that support it like Ash Wednesday, Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services, I always feel like a lone ranger. The time I spent in the Episcopal Church while I was in college was so formative to me--it was my first real church home after my conversion--and I do miss it. If my schedule were not so complicated, I would "sneak out" and go to liturgical services whenever I could. I'd love to slip in the back pew and just be alone with God and the Book of Common Prayer. Isn't that a strange fantasy?

Micah Girl

Wow

2007-02-15T13:18:00.000-05:00

God of mercy, this midday moment of rest is your welcome gift. Bless the work we have begun, and make good its defects and let us finish it in a way that pleases you. Grant this through Christ our Lord.

Taken from the Divine Hours mid-day prayer.

Just what I needed to pray. Bless my work, make good its defects, let me finish well.

Micah Girl

Working homeschooler

2007-02-15T08:42:00.000-05:00

Thank goodness the sun is shining today. I wither without natural light and yesterday's "wintry mix" nor'easter was dark and gloomy. Snow I don't mind if there is sun bouncing off it.

I thought yesterday I might catch up on work I've been putting off, but instead did mostly school and hanging out with the kids...

Today I need to carve out some better work time after athletics.

It's been a challenging semester juggling school for the kids and work because I have both pretty much everyday and no single day completely devoted to work. I am falling behind! The kids are thriving which is good. My work is not suffering, yet, but I am exhausted this semester. This will all change when my husband is no longer in school full-time, of course, and I see that light at the end of the tunnel in just a couple months!

Perseverance with good humor is my goal in the meantime.

Micah Girl

Let it snow!

2007-02-14T08:52:00.000-05:00

Good old nor'easter is blowin' through these parts.

Let it snow, I say.

We are home to read, do school, play in the snow, catch up on work, bake bread and make goodies. Maybe some housework and a DVD will be thrown into the mix for good measure.

Micah Girl

Two 911 calls and other police action all in one night

2007-02-08T23:20:00.000-05:00

This evening on the way to our weekly college worship service I saw a woman walking in the frigid air on the dark and busy HIGHWAY. This road has no breakdown lane and she was walking as if she were on a sidewalk in the middle of the afternoon. I called 911 and told the police where she was because I was afraid she might get hit. I then continued to the church.

Later tonight when I was picking up students from campus to bring them back to the church, several blocks downtown were blockaded with cop cars and there were fire engines everywhere. I have no idea what was going on--but it was big.

Then tonight around 11:00 on my way home I saw a car that had crashed into a street lamp knocking it over. It had flipped over on its side on the median strip of the road near my house. Of course, I had to call 911 once again.

A man was frantically trying to see whether or not someone was inside the car. I pulled over to get out and see if I could help. The airbags had deployed but it was dark so we couldn't see much. The car was smoking. We called out "Is anyone in there?" but received no response. I shouted, "The paramedics are coming--hang tight." There was a winter coat on the ground near the car that for a heart-stopping moment we thought might be a person crushed underneath. A woman ran down the street in her pajamas and said she had seen a young man running from the scene supposedly to get help. Other drivers stopped and reported seeing a kid in a short sleeve shirt wandering around up the street. A car turned around on the street to shine its lights on the car and we realized that it was empty. The fire engine and police car arrived and those of us who had gathered there filled them in on what was going on. Once they checked the car, the fire engine drove up the street looking for the kid who was probably injured. I drove up the main drag to go home, but also to kept an eye out for the kid. He was standing up a short ways on the medium strip. Another vehicle had stopped and was parked near him. He was shivering and dazed. I drove past him to see if he seemed okay. Realizing that he wasn't going anywhere, I turned around on the road to go back home. I saw the fire engine still driving around searching for him. I pointed up the street to where the kid was and then drove myself home.

What a wild day.

Micah Girl

A spacious place

2007-02-08T08:04:00.000-05:00

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me Psalm 18:19

You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place. Psalm 31:8

Whenever the Lord leads, the final destination is always a spacious place I think. The hard times in my life when I have been squeezed from all sides have always been followed by the freedom of space.

I think the longing for a spacious place is innate in all people. The quest for a spacious place is the sentiment behind "the pursuit of happiness." The desire for unfettered openness is the urge behind all great adventures.

I want to never take for granted the open space I already have as a child of the kingdom even as I seek for my next adventure, my next free space to roam and live.

Guide my steps, Lord.

Micah Girl

How to write an scintillating CV

2007-02-04T19:02:00.000-05:00

Don't I wish I knew! I realized that I need to write one--sooner rather than later--but I haven't even recently updated my resume since I've had the same job for 10 years. And the prospect of a CV scares me a bit. Fortunately, I have a friend whose husband is a professor and she writes all his CVs and markets him when he is looking for work, and she has offered to help me!

The interesting thing about my life is that it's not boring.

The challenging thing about encapsulating it is that it's not linear.

I have been at one time or another all of the following either for love or money:

an actor (once an actor, always an actor...)
a director (what I really want to do is direct!)
a member of an improvisational comedy troupe
an office worker
a corporate recruiter
an admissions counselor for a secretarial school
a temporary staffing specialist
a vocational rehabilitation placement specialist
an SAT prep tutor
a college minister
a conversational English teacher
an area-wide college ministry coordinator
a bible study teacher
a curriculum writer
a public speaker
a preacher
a homeschooler
a homeschool community organizer
a mission trip leader
a mentor of young ministers and college kids
a blogger (but mostly anonymous!)
and other things I've forgotten or blocked out

Now to make it all tell a coherent story and get me admittance to a doctoral program...

Micah Girl

Either/or

2007-02-01T08:21:00.000-05:00

Frequently, when I am given an either/or proposition
my response is,
"Why not both/and?"

Does this make me postmodern or merely averse to giving up options???

Micah Girl

Still here

2007-01-30T09:20:00.000-05:00

I am still here, I am just so involved with my life that I have not had time for blogging.

I have a list of things to blog about--

books I have read or am about to read...

DVDs I have recently seen with my husband...

the joys of the day to day spiritual insights that the Holy Spirit gives me to keep me going...

the intricacies of the matchmaking I would like to do among the single people in my life that instead I am making a subject of prayer...

the plans to visit Lexington, KY in May...

the fears of facing my dream of applying to a doctoral program and possibly being rejected...

the fun of homeschooling my kids...

the incredible gratitude to God for all that I have and the possibilities that lay before me...

But for now I need to rally the kids and get out the door for athletics. At least I have posted. Perhaps it is the first step back to regular blogging.

Micah Girl

The return of 24

2007-01-14T16:53:00.000-05:00

My heart is in my mouth...

My brain is ready for the plot twists...

My poor spirit is ready to pray for the fictional Jack Bauer and those he tries to protect...

Tonight and tomorrow are the first four hours of 24!

My favorite pop culture obsession.

Micah Girl

Place

2007-01-12T07:40:00.000-05:00

The power of place.

I am obsessed with it.

Thinking and praying about moving is my hobby. I visit realty websites and plug in four bedroom homes like a blue-haired, sparkle-jacketed octogenarian plays the slot machines. "JACKPOT! 4 BR, good zip code, wow--nearly 1/5 of an acre and only 150,000?"

I have virtual conversations with people I've never met and pour out my heart's desire about moving. "My husband and I are really looking for a welcoming community where we can plug in right away and where the kids can make friends. We'd love for them to have friends up and down the street."

I read the paper in Lexington online everyday. I know about the murder suspect who was let out on a reduced bail of $1,000 and never showed up for his electronic montitoring bracelet. A city-wide search ensued and he was found asleep in his own bed unaware of the manhunt. Almost comic.

I know that the University of Kentucky has the #9 ranked doctoral program in educational psychology--and that's the one I have my sights on.

I expect that when we visit Lexington in May we will be impressed, excited and nervous. I expect that we will have supernatural peace about the next steps for us. I expect that God will let us know--yes, this is the place for you to go.

I also keep in my mind and my heart the truth that the longing I have is not really for a friendly community with educational opportunites and lower cost of living. It's not for a four bedroom house in a great zip code that costs less than our townhome. It's a spiritual longing that never will be fulfilled. I am an alien and a stranger on earth. I am seeking after a country of my own--a heavenly one prepared by God himself. I find this country by faith and will not see it on this side of heaven. However, wherever we go we are to be faithful witnesses of the kingdom of God and ambassadors of heaven. Father, guide our steps.

Micah Girl

New Year, Renewing Routines

2007-01-06T08:20:00.000-05:00

Trying to get back into the swing--a bit of a holiday hangover (and not the alcohol-induced kind!) It's hard to get back into routines when I am on break from work, we have been holidaying with the kids and need to get back to schoolwork, I need to get back into regular fitness routines, and I want to catch up on all the visioning I need to do personally and professionally.

Or I could just have another cup of coffee and put the wash in the dryer...

The day to day versus the long-term. The urgent versus the important. The balancing act of life, ministry, homeschooling and learning to live a creative life...

What a blessing to have so many options. In another situation, I might have to get up early in the morning to go to a minimum wage job that I hate and send my kids off to be cared for and taught by others. I might have a husband I didn't like or a house that was in a dangerous part of town. I might have health issues or a deep addiction to shopping. Instead I have the challenges of juggling my blessings. Time to stop whining.

Micah Girl

Silly quiz, flattering result

2007-01-01T18:04:00.000-05:00

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Merry Christmas

2006-12-26T08:46:00.000-05:00

Christmas is a very emotional time. Family is wonderful--but stressful. Different expectations about the holiday are hard to juggle. My parents are going through quite a bit of stress right now with my father's recent Parkinson's diagnosis and trying to move their lives from their 2nd floor apartment to the first. I will be returning to their house as often as I can to help them de-clutter and clean.

My husband and I are going away for our 10th anniversary next week--and we are taking our three kids. We'll stay somewhere in a suite and take the kids to the hotel pool and let them watch cartoons (a rare treat) while we enjoy relaxing. I feel like I've always been married and yet I can remember the very first weekend I noticed my one and only across the room. He was wearing jeans and a big blue down ski jacket and had such a handsome face. When he began to pursue me I was flattered and flustered. It doesn't take much for me to remember that feeling...

And we also are making plans to visit Lexington, Kentucky in May. We are inviting our in-laws who live in pricey Southern CA to come with us to check it out, too. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could all move out at the same time?

So many things swirling in my head. But deep in my heart is the peace that passes understanding and for that I am grateful.

Micah Girl

1st Day of Winter

2006-12-21T08:12:00.001-05:00

Shortest day of the year...

Which means, of course, that starting tomorrow we will gradually get more and more hours of daylight.

Thanks be to God.

Micah Girl

Christmas funk

2006-12-20T08:44:00.000-05:00

I'm in a funk. I have bursts of energy and holiday cheer and then I sink into dark clouds of sadness.

I am on break from work and am busy inventing a new routine so that I can get all the holiday stuff done and also connect with my family.

I long for some moments of spiritual retreat, but think that I will have to steal those until after Christmas when perhaps I can actually rest some.

I am holding onto a few promises this morning:

I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
before the "gods" I will sing your praise.
I will bow down toward your holy temple
and will praise your name
for your love and your faithfulness,
for you have exalted above all things
your name and your word.
When I called, you answered me;
you made me bold and stouthearted. --Ps. 138: 1-3

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; (!!!!)
your love, O LORD, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands. --Ps. 138:8

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. --Ps. 139:7-12

Micah Girl, the bold and stouthearted one (Ps. 138:3)

Nearest book meme

2006-12-19T07:58:00.000-05:00

Saw this meme at St. Inuksuk's Blog Here are the rules...

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next four sentences on your blog, along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that “cool” or “intellectual” book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest!

Oooh, look what I ended up with! One of my favorite topics!

Sex is, in Paul's image, a joining of your body to someone else's. In baptism, you have become Christ's Body, and it is Christ's Body that you must give you permission to join His Body to another body. In the Christian grammar, we have no right to sex. The place where the church confers that privilege on you is the wedding; weddings grant us license to have sex with one person.
--Real Sex, Lauren Winner (This is a must-read book, by the way!)

Do tell me if you are going to play!

2006-12-19T07:44:00.000-05:00

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

Quite a week

2006-12-15T08:09:00.000-05:00

This week has been filled with highs and lows. It started with a birthday party for my daughter that was attended by her friends and and their families and some of my extended family. We were packed into our house and everyone had a wonderful time.

Sunday night I get a call in the middle of the night from my sister that my dad is in the hospital. He had been at the party and in good spirits.

The next day we go down to my parents' house so that I can be with mom and dad at the hospital and we get him discharged and make plans to help move my parents from the second floor of their home to the first floor.

We come back home, I get the kids to various homeschool events, and get back into my routine here.

My dad received a diagnosis yesterday of Parkinson's Disease--which is a relief so that we know what we are fighting now.

Today we go to a play with 37 other homeschoolers that I organized, I go grocery shopping for a guys' breakfast my husband is holding and a lunch we are having after church on Sunday, and need to get the kids home in time for music lessons.

Still haven't gotten around to Christmas presents. In addition to whatever we give I usually bake up a storm and haven't gotten to those preparations yet.

Through it all, God has been so good, my husband has been my number one support and a practical voice of wisdom, and my kids have trooped on with little complaint.

It's been quite a week!

Happy Feet

2006-12-09T10:09:00.000-05:00

My husband and I took the kids yesterday to see Happy Feet. The opening musical sequence was brilliant--amazing choral singing chock full of pop tunes and pop cultural references as we watch Norma Jean and Memphis, who later become the parents of Mumble, the penguin with happy feet, fall in love.

Later as Mumble, the dancing penguin who doesn't fit in, starts tapping out his heartsong I was convinced that he looked just like the brilliant Savion Glover, tapdancer extraordinaire. At the closing credits Glover is indeed credited with choreography.

The film itself is typical kid fare with adult jokes that go over most kids' heads, but a serious environmental message that surprised me. The CGI effects are amazing and my husband and I enjoyed ourselves very much.

Micah Girl

Birthday today

2006-12-07T08:13:00.000-05:00

Today is my birthday. And I'm 39. The real 39--the one you hit after 38, not the mythical 39 that people jokingly claim they are.

Today is also the 65th anniversary of Pearl Harbor Day. As a girl I thought that Pearl Harbor Day sounded pretty until I realized the historic carnage associated with it. But I still like sharing such a historic marker with the day of my birth.

I am so grateful today for so many things.

My husband, the love of my life, my biggest fan, and the most gorgeous guy I know. He's also smart, loving, a great father, loves Jesus, fun at a party...you get the picture.

My three amazing children--8, 6 and 4. They are unique and beautiful creations of God. They are my pride and joy.

My health.

The wealth I have been blessed with--a home of our own, plenty of food for my kids, two cars, the freedom to make life-changing decisions about where and when we will move, fresh water that flows from our taps--so, so much that is easy to take for granted.

The desire to create and communicate.

A calling to minister to others, especially college students and young adults.

The yearning in my gut that urges me to push onward, to discover again and again what I was created for, and to learn to follow Jesus in new and fresh ways because I love Him and He reached down to love me. He became one just like me.

Thanks, Lord, for all you have done.

Micah Girl

Movie recommendations

2006-12-06T08:20:00.000-05:00

Update on melancholic optimism...I am feeling lighter everyday. I don't like to keep secrets, not even about future plans that have not yet come to pass. The more people in my real life that I talk to, the lighter my heart becomes. And so far no earthquakes to swallow me up, no buildings falling down around me.

I have been watching and reading some very interesting stuff lately that I will be posting about soon. I really need to do more reviews because there is some terrific stuff out there.

Here are two quick recommendations for two very different movies:

Shakespeare Behind Bars is an incredible documentary about prisoners who put on a full production of The Tempest. The way these men handle the language is beautiful. Even more engaging, however, is watching them struggle with themes of grace and forgiveness. Very, very good. Available on DVD.

Stranger Than Fiction is in theaters now. Don't click the link for the trailer unless you're willing to see a few spoilers for the film. Will Ferrell, Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffman, Queen Latifah in a very funny and surprisingly moving film about a writer with writer's block and her main character.

Micah Girl

Melancholic optimist--OR why I have a split personality...

2006-12-03T21:41:00.000-05:00

We have begun to tell friends about our likely move in the next year. This is a really big deal for me. I get lost in my thoughts and would happily live inside my own head, so I am more than happy to plan and dream and wonder about something forever and keep it all to myself. As I have started talking seriously to my parents and extended family, and especially now that we have started sharing it with our inner circle of friends it's becoming real to me.

Tomorrow, I need to talk to my whole ministry team about it. Then I need to talk to my boss, who himself is leaving sooner rather than later. Then we need to talk to our pastor and his wife. Every time I speak it out loud, it is realer. I am very emotional about the whole thing, weepy and frightened sometimes, excited and dreamy at other times. My husband is so even-keeled that he could withstand a hurricane of change, I think, without mussing up his hair. I, however, have a deeply melancholic heart but an optimistic spirit which yanks me simultaneously in two different directions.

And all of this is still not set in stone--it is still a topic of prayer. But my brain and spirit keep pulling me back to Lexington, Kentucky. Over and over again. A place I haven't even visited yet, but a town which may be our home in 2007 or 2008. A place where we will raise our kids, my husband will work as a nurse practitioner and I will homeschool our kids and pursue a doctorate--I hope! A place where we don't yet know anyone, but we'll surely settle in and make a community, just as we've done here. A place where I will spend my 40s! I turn 39 next week and it's hard to believe that someone so young could be getting to be a woman of a certain age. Didn't pushing 40 used to be much older than this??

I'm tired. Emotionally exhausted. And rambling.

Good night.

Micah Girl

Three answers you always wanted to know...

2006-11-29T16:15:00.000-05:00

but didn't know to ask me.

READY?

1. Yes, I like country music. I was introduced to it in college at NYU by a Kansas boy turned Greenwich Village Episcopal priest who was simultaneously my mentor and my secret crush. I was particularly fond of the pleasing baritone of Randy Travis and the classic heartbreak of Patsy Cline. My current favorite is Josh Turner, another deep-voiced boy who sings about true love and faithfulness.

2. Yes, I talk to myself and to Jesus out loud in my car while stuck in traffic. We often have lots of laughs.

3. I daydream about my husband. A lot. He's really, really cute and charming.

Micah Girl

Vision leaks

2006-11-27T15:14:00.000-05:00

Back in 2004 I read an article by Andy Stanley called Vision Leaks. That phrase has stuck with me ever since, and I think my ministry team has heard it from my lips at least a dozen times.

Vision leaks.
People need to be told in as many creative ways as possible and as many times as possible what purpose they are pursuing.

This is true for a church, a ministry, a company--even a family.

I am constantly amazed at how vision leaks in my small team with pretty good weekly face-to-face communication and feedback.

Again and again I need to repeat.

And as I repeat myself I began to get it, too.

I am wondering how to transfer this to my personal life.

What is my personal vision statement that I need to hear whispered over and over in my ear, read over and over on post-it notes, and recite aloud to myself when I am lacking courage or direction?

I usually fall back on Galatians 2:20 as my life verse, especially when facing a daunting task:
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

It reminds me that the power I have is in the resurrection of my Lord. My life is not my own. Faith is the goal of my days. When I repeat to myself "who loved me and gave himself for me" it reminds me that I am His Beloved and He is mine.

But I am wondering what more God may have for me as a vision statement. What else should I be imprinting on my heart and mind that is truth?

I feel certain that I always want to be surrounded by college students. If (perhaps I should say when?)we relocate, I plan to pursue a doctorate. I will be on a campus. I will be preparing myself to teach on a campus. Because I am a Christ-follower wherever I go, I will still be a college minister, if no longer one by title.

Is this where I am to go? What is Your vision for me, Lord?

Let me be faithful to You.

Micah Girl
with a head full of questions...

Being real and sharing your faith

2006-11-24T08:57:00.000-05:00

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
Ephesians 4:15

Speak the truth--don't be silent!--but do it in love.

But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
1 Peter 3:14-16

Don't be afraid, be prepared to share the hope that sustains you. Do so with gentleness and respect.

Jesus said: “Everything has been entrusted to me by my Father; and no one knows who the Son is except the Father, and who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.”
Luke 10:22

Ask God to reveal Himself to others.

The human mind and heart are a mystery; but God will loose an arrow at them, and suddenly they will be wounded.
Psalm 64:7

Only God can do the impossible.

Micah Girl

Thanksgiving Delurking Week

2006-11-21T15:28:00.000-05:00

Thanks to blogger Rev Abi who frequently comments here (THANKS!) I realize that it is Thanksgiving Delurking Week. Wherever I visit this week, I will try to remember to leave a friendly comment to encourage one of the many, many bloggers who encourage me. If you are lurking here, I would be so pleased to hear from you as well.

Let's pay it forward...

Micah Girl

Sprained Ankle Sunday

2006-11-19T19:05:00.000-05:00

I did something that I have never done before--I sprained my ankle. I twisted it yesterday in an oh-my-goodness-my-foot-fell-asleep-but-I'm-sure-I-can-still-walk incident. Simple. Unglamorous. Clumsy.

I walked on it all day afterwards--we were getting ready for a church Thanksgiving party, and I figured it would work itself out. After a day of housework, cooking and partying, I couldn't sleep in my bed because the covers were so heavy they hurt my ankle. So I moved down to the couch and watched infomercials and fell asleep with my foot up on a pillow. This morning it could take no weight and my hubby wrapped it in ice and took the kids to church. I rested and watched news programs, read some Sunday papers on the internet, and enjoyed the house to myself. I also mixed up some pancake batter because we were having some people over for brunch. By the time our friends arrived for lunch I was feeling pretty well and enjoyed a good time with some of our church family.

Tomorrow, I am sneaking out to a movie in the middle of the afternoon with a girlfriend. How cool is that? We are going to see Stranger Than Fiction with Will Ferrell. We have been hoping to find a time to do it, and I suddenly realized that I had a lighter than usual schedule tomorrow afternoon. So I am playing hooky.

Fortunately, a week that could have started off very badly is actually off to a promising start.

Micah Girl

Another WOW prayer from Divine Hours

2006-11-19T10:15:00.000-05:00

The Prayer Appointed for the Week

Blessed Lord, who caused all holy Scriptures to be written for our learning:
Grant me so to hear them, read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest them,
that I may embrace and ever hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life,
which you have given us in our Savior Jesus Christ;
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever. Amen.†

One Punk under God

2006-11-18T21:55:00.000-05:00

Check out the promo for One Punk Under God. Jay Bakker, "prodigal son" of Jim & Tammy Fae Bakker has a show starting on the Sundance Channel in December. If only I had cable, I would definitely check it out...if only out of morbid curiosity.

Micah Girl

Rebirth brainstorm

2006-11-18T10:09:00.000-05:00

Change
Transformation
Reinvention
New beginning
Renaissance
Renewal...

awakening, cheering, consolation, enkindling, freshening, invigoration, quickening, reanimation, reawakening, recovery, regeneration, rejuvenation, renaissance, renascence, renewal, restoration, resurgence, resuscitation, retro, revitalization, energy burst, refreshment, renaissance, restored energy, restored strength, second energy burst

RESURRECTION POWER

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.
Philippians 3:7-11

Micah Girl

Unfunny political irony

2006-11-15T08:35:00.000-05:00

North Korea has nuclear weapons and is using them to gain a world audience for the demands of a power-mad, possibly insane dictator.

Iran claims to have nuclear weapons, and it seems pretty likely. They want the US to play nice with them now that they are armed.

The US is bogged down in a war that was supposed to save us from weapons of mass destruction that actually didn't exist. Now that country is in total chaos on the edge of civil war.

This is clearly not funny, but it is ironic.

Micah Girl

A poetic commentary on scandal...

2006-11-10T21:47:00.000-05:00

These words by James Watkins summarize many of my feelings about not only the Haggard scandal, but many situations in our church universal where individuals are set up for temptation and failure by a system which isolates and flatters them. The church is supposed to be a body--a family--a place of intimacy and accountability. The way that we often do church makes it more like a free market corporation.

pedestals

Thousands

cheer,
chant,
and clap
as one of their own
is proudly carried toward the
lofty pedestal.

The audience

urges him
up the stairway,
step by step,
higher and higher,
far above the masses
on the prominent platform.

The media is there

with lights,
cameras
and prime-time coverage.

Publishers huddle

around the base,
for they know
pedestal-people
sell well.

The crowds

on satellite hook-ups
hang on
every last word,
for he seems
so close to eternity.

Yet he feels

unsure,
unworthy,
afraid
and very alone . . .

But at that height

no one notices,
no one questions,
no one confronts.

And so,

in a split second,
the trap door swings,
the noose tightens,
the crowd gasps.

Undeterred, the mob moves on

to build more pedestals;
to encourage another
of their own
up the starlit steps.

But mostly

to wonder
why those
at the pinnacle
keep falling
from the heights.

How to??? (Fill in the blank)

2006-11-06T07:38:00.000-05:00

What would you (or I) really like to read a "how to" book on? What is it that people are eager to read that would make a practical difference in their lives? I am looking for writing projects and would welcome any comments on what book you would actually pick up off the shelf or what magazine article you would immediately flip to...

How to.................... ????

Unclog sinks? Raise earth-friendly kids? Share Jesus with your neighbors? Shave your legs in two minutes or less? Write the great American novel? Throw smashing parties? Woo your husband?

Thanks for any and all comments, witty or dull, serious or silly!

Micah Girl

Heartsick over Haggard scandal

2006-11-04T09:15:00.000-05:00

It really is breaking my heart--all the sordid details of the scandal surrounding Ted Haggard. When I first heard the news I was really stricken and hoping it was all a pack of lies. As more comes out, it only looks worse and worse.

I have been praying for him, his wife, their children (most of all!), his church, the NAE and the church universal. Life is messy. We are all sinners. Lord, have mercy.

Micah Girl

NANOWRIMO

2006-11-02T08:22:00.000-05:00

Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body. Ecclesiastes 12:12

Although I have been a terribly irregular blogger recently I am doing something to light a fire in my writer's heart. I am taking the National Novel Writers' Month challenge. This means I am supposed to write a minimum of 50,000 words during the month of November. I will NOT be posting this on this blog, but once I am finished I might consider posting the whole thing--that is unless my publisher insists otherwise. (Stop rolling on the floor and holding your sides. I could have a publisher at the end of this. Think big!)

I have risen to the NANOWRIMO challenge the last two mornings. I do not expect to meet the word challenge by the end of the month, but if I write each and day I will consider it a success.
I do have my first reader for my novel. I awoke my 7 year old daughter this morning to invite her to the computer to read my secret novel blog. The main character in the book is a nearly 10 year old girl who likes to travel, have adventures and read, so I thought my bookworm might enjoy reading about her. So far I have my first rave review, and she can hardly wait to read more. I think that will be my primary incentive for continuing to write.

Micah Girl

Prayer from the Divine Hours

2006-11-02T06:41:00.000-05:00

Lord God Almighty, you have made all the peoples of the earth for your glory, to serve you in freedom and in peace: Give to the people of our country a zeal for justice and the strength of forbearance, that we may use our liberty in accordance with your gracious will; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.†
Divine Hours website

A missionary prayer...

A prayer for politicians...

A prayer for a powerful nation that hold most of the world's resources...

To those who are given much, much is expected...

Micah Girl

1/2 hour resolutions of a recovering sluggard

2006-10-28T14:36:00.001-04:00

Discipline is something that I have been developing in my life over the last year. It is a constant struggle for me, as I realize that being a sluggard is much easier.

Here are my resolutions:

To consistently wake up at 6:00 AM
1/2 hour of prayer and bible study
1/2 hour of working out
1/2 hour of writing
1/2 hour of deep cleaning the house

This means that by 8:00 I am either ready to start the day with my kids or get out the door for work.

This means that 1/2 hour at a time I will be on track spiritually, physically, creatively and environmentally. If it takes 30 days to make a habit, in one month I will be prayed up, toned up, up to speed with beginning a daily writer's discipline and cleaned up so that when we do put our house on the market it won't be such a hassle.

This is so simple it could actually work.

6 Go to the ant, you sluggard;
consider its ways and be wise!
7 It has no commander,
no overseer or ruler,
8 yet it stores its provisions in summer
and gathers its food at harvest.
9 How long will you lie there, you sluggard?
When will you get up from your sleep?
10 A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest-
11 and poverty will come on you like a bandit
and scarcity like an armed man.

Proverbs 6: 6-11

Micah Girl

Finding God in the mundane

2006-10-17T08:17:00.000-04:00

That is one of my goals.

To see God in the mundane details of my life.

The dull times.

The having an argument with my husband times.

The kids are driving me crazy times.

The headache times.

But also to be able to count my blessings at those times and change my perspective so that I am grateful for all that I have and all that I am.

It is the daily living that sustains us more than the ecstatic times and more than the dramatically awful. Day to day life is ordinary and yet so blessed if only we have eyes to see.

Micah Girl

Honest kisses

2006-10-07T10:15:00.000-04:00

An honest answer
is like a kiss on the lips.
Proverbs 24:26

Even if it stings, like salt in an open cut.

Even if you wonder why you even asked the question now.

Even if you need to pray for God to give you the wisdom to listen to a critic when you want to lob grenades off a wall of defense.

Even if it doesn't meet with the ideal answer you have in your head.

Even if it forces you to re-examine your own character and to face up to long-term flaws and cherished, ugly sins.

Even if you were hoping for affirmation and a pat on the back, and instead got a reason to go back to the drawing board.

Honesty comes from Truth.
Truth is a Person.
That Person is Jesus Christ.
So an honest answer is like a kiss on the lips from God.
And encounters with God can rock your world.

Micah Girl

Quotes on Character

2006-10-03T13:19:00.000-04:00

"Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." Abraham Lincoln

"The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically... Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education." Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Character is power." Booker T. Washington

"Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, and only character endures." Horace Greeley

Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true. Acts 17:11

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5

Reminder to sweat the small stuff

2006-09-28T07:50:00.000-04:00

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free. Ephesians 6:5-8

I think the reminder about work is so appropriate. If we remember that even the littlest thing we do is a reflection of our love for Jesus, then we will do it with all of our energy. I am trying to view those tasks that I tend to let slide as opportunities to serve God and to humble myself, instead of as menial things that probably don't count anyway. It is not only when we are doing "spiritual" things or big jobs that we are supposed to give it all we have, but all the time. When we do the most overlooked task that is ignored by the world it is then that our motives are really being changed, I think. And God notices everything.

Micah Girl

Small town life in Kentucky?

2006-09-19T18:03:00.000-04:00

Hubby and I had a heart-to-heart about whether or not to move. Bottom line--he has a yearning for small town life, neighborly neighbors, community connection. We have worked hard for it here, but it's just not clicking. We also long for a lower cost of living, a little bit of land, a little breathing room financially.

Latest plan--Kentucky: Bowling Green or somewhere outside of Lexington. Both have Hispanic community, universities, culture and fun family stuff to do. Both would be a culture shock, I think, coming from the Northeast. Is this the future God has for us??????

Micah Girl

Theology of romance???

2006-09-12T08:15:00.000-04:00

Okay--this is a serious question.

If you know two terrific people who would be perfect together--at least one of them definitely has romantic feelings for the other and one of them probably has feelings for the first, but you know them both well and they've both been burned and scared before-- how should you pray for them?

I have been praying for God to work things out between them and to turn their hearts toward one another. I have been praying for him to bless them with the opportunity to come together and to marry!

I get caught up a little bit in the romance of it all in my own mind, and how I would want people to pray for me if I was in that situation. I'm also SO happily married that I would love to see those two get together.

So what do you do???

Micah Girl

September 11-- 5 years later

2006-09-11T07:09:00.000-04:00

I don't have much to say about the anniversary, but that is partly self-preservation I think. In church yesterday we had a brief moment of remembrance, a simple prayer and a brief and tasteful worship video regarding the anniversary, and I sobbed.

This morning in my One Year Bible reading was some encouragement from Isaiah 9:2

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.

May the light of God guide all the people of God to live out the radical love of God in a dark and confusing world.

Micah Girl

Three Good Reads

2006-09-10T14:34:00.000-04:00

Here are three historical novels, written from a Christian worldview (but not preachy or cheesy) that I have read recently that I highly recommend:

Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt by Anne Rice
Rice takes you into the boyhood of Jesus in an unforgettably earthy but reverent way.

River Rising by Athol Dickson
Dickson weaves a page-turning mystery while depicting racism and natural disaster in Louisiana of 1927.

Levi's Will by Dale Cramer.
An intimate family drama concerning an Amish man who leaves behind his traditions but needs to reconnect both to his family and to faith over the course of his lifetime.

Micah Girl

2006-09-05T08:45:00.000-04:00

"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it."
Pablo Picasso

How do you find your calling?

2006-08-28T07:48:00.000-04:00

This topic is always on my mind because I work with college age students who are in the throes of this process. It's one of the most exciting parts of my work.

I also have young children who constantly discuss what they want to be and do when they grow up. My son wants to be a chef and run a restaurant. My daughters want to live in Switzerland and in Greece. They all want to get married and be parents and even discuss who their spouses might be. Fun stuff.

I, too, am trying to discern what I want to be when I grow up. Yes, I seem grown up, but I think I am heading for my next phase of life. Aren't we all supposed to have several careers these days? I love my work, but I wonder if there is more for me. Would it simply mean a change in location? Doing collegiate ministry elsewhere--maybe even (gasp!) in the bible belt? Or do I really live out the perpetual student fantasy and go back for a doctorate--perhaps in educational psychology so that I can help others find their calling??? I sense that I am going in a circle here, which is good because a circle is a discernible pattern. According to the Identity Code I am supposed to look for patterns in my life to discern the DNA of my purpose.

So is my calling to help others find their calling? Do I really need to go back to school to do that? Or do I simply continue shepherding those God entrusts to me? Do I do that here or do we pick up our lives and move where the real estate is cheaper, and we can perhaps be truly out of debt? I have my children for only a season and I never want to lose focus on them. They are my most important responsibility and I am grateful for a husband who is so intimately involved in their lives.

I know that I am obsessing over a transition that is at least one to two years in front of me. And yet, I want to know!

Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.

Micah Girl

This Heavy Silence

2006-08-22T07:28:00.000-04:00

This first novel by Nicole Mazzarella has won critical acclaim and awards: Library Journal, Christianity Today and the Christy Awards all laud it.

It's a beautifully told story, honest and raw, simple and sad, ultimately redemptive but never cliche. Really, really good. I finished it last night and couldn't sleep as the characters swam around in my head.

It's the kind of first novel everyone dreams of writing-honest and literary, acclaimed yet humble. Lovely.

Micah Girl

Everlasting purposes

2006-08-20T15:31:00.000-04:00

Words of wisdom from one of my favorite blogs, My Writers Group:

Charisma sells, yes. But that charisma needs to derive from your core passion, whatever that is. And don’t accept any less—from anyone. If you really want to change the world, start there.
Alright? So I’m thinking this should apply to the way we view the world, this broken, twisted-up, decaying piece of rock hurtling through space. We need more Christians who understand this, their specialness that’s not about uniqueness. Use your piece of the eternal to affect the present. And when you write, think about the effect you’ll have on generations in the future of your dedicating not to what’s unique, but what’s everlasting.

Read the whole post here.

I want to focus myself on purpose that has everlasting effects. That's what matters.

Now to discern the next step--there's the challenge.

Micah Girl

Busy-ness begins

2006-08-15T07:59:00.000-04:00

I am involved in long meetings this week to prepare for the new collegiate ministry year. Lots of new people working in our region of the country. Lots of challenges for various ministries--people leaving, assimilating newbies, personal crises, etc.

I am starting to get out of my relaxed, Sabbath-like, hakuna matata summer routine and am beginning to return to structure. I have two settings in my life: High-Speed and Off. I need to get ready for High-Speed.

I will continue delving into the Identity Code over the next couple of weeks and blogging my answers. I have a new worker coming in that I need to orient and prepare for ministry here. I am so looking forward to getting back into the homeschool groove with my kids. This week their papi is the primary teacher because I am out of the house, but during the year I carry most of the teaching responsibilities. My husband's going to be busy, busy, busy, too with work and full time graduate studies and homeschooling whenever I am working. Although at this time of year my stomach is usually in knots, overall I feel quite peaceful. I pray that this unrushed spirit (even if my life gets rushed) will stay with me.

Last year at a conference I heard a phrase that has really stayed with me: Hurry is the enemy of holiness. I am seeking to heed this wisdom and nurture a gentle and quiet spirit, no matter what lies ahead of me. Through the power of the Holy Spirit I hope to persevere in quietness and strength.

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it. Isaiah 30:15

I want some of that.

Micah Girl

Most Memorable Achievements (& Failures) Identity Code, Post #3

2006-08-13T07:36:00.000-04:00

Now I am looking for patterns by listing some of my most memorable achievements, as well as a couple memorable failures.

Most memorable achievements:
1. Finding the love of my life and having a really good marriage.
2. Graduating seminary.
3. Being a mother of three.
4. Getting into acting school at NYU.
5. Doing things that scare me, such as improv comedy.
6. Moving to Ireland by myself just out of college.
7. Learning Spanish, not perfectly, but I can carry on a serious conversation with my mother-in-law.
8. Bouncing back from a broken heart more than once when close friends died too young.

Most memorable failures:
1. Getting involved with the wrong guy before I met the right guy. I so wanted to be loved that I settled. I learned lots about relationships and grew up emotionally, but made many, many mistakes!
2. All my corporate jobs in my 20s, especially corporate recruiting AKA headhunting. What was I thinking? I am not motivated by money alone! Then I did admissions for a very expensive secretarial school. Ick. Then recruiting for a temporary placement agency. Not fulfilling. Finally job placement for people with severe disabilities--I was in over my head although I enjoyed the people I worked with. I did enjoy interviewing people and affirming their gifts in all of these jobs.

Overarching theme from achievements:
Facing my fears and doing something I wasn't sure I could do. Not settling for the ordinary or the expected!

Things I have enjoyed even in situations I haven't loved:
Training others, inspiring others, teaching others, affirming others...

I have been playing with the idea of getting a doctorate in Educational Psychology. That could fit in very well with my overall pattern in life and the things I love. (My seminary degree is a Master of Arts in Christian Education, but I imagine I would still need to do lots of extra course work before I could start the PhD work.) I wonder what interesting doors that might open. Hmmm....a possibility.

Micah Girl

The Identity Code, post #2

2006-08-12T14:53:00.000-04:00

Why I love the things I love.

Reading and writing:
Beauty, truth, knowledge.

Cooking and nutrition:
Creativity, nurturing, hospitality.

Ministry:
Community, shepherding, nurturing, casting a vision.

Humor:
Truth-telling.

Psychology:
Uncovering how people tick.

Education:
Sharing wisdom. Empowering people.

Relationships:
Connection, intimacy, family.

Language and culture:
Bridge building

Talk:
Information. Connection. Wisdom. Learning.

Overarching themes:

Underneath it all---creativity, connection and community. I think those might be my themes, my underlying passions that drive everything I do.

I need to think about this some more to see if this is really it, or if this is what I wish were really my thing. I'm wondering, am I fooling myself?

According to the author: "Suspending disbelief liberates you." So I need to suspend my disbelief and go with this process... Perhaps when I revisit this later it will seem clearer if it's accurate.

As I look back again at my list I also see truth. That connects to my passion for ministry, for analysis, for knowledge, even for humor...

Also nurturing and shepherding. Those are my pastoral gifts. My mothering talents. My teacher's passion. My vision-caster's purpose.

Maybe I need to be thinking about discernment itself. My ability to read people and to lead them. To offer counsel and encouragement. To show the way to others. I am very intuitive and trust in my gut quite a bit, as well as being able to keep a lot of things tucked away in my brain for future use. That's why I love word games--I excel at them. That's why I like talking to new people--I can find bits of information to connect to them and make them feel comfortable.

Now I've got so much information, I don't know what to do with it. Where do I go from here? I want to figure it all out right now!

Did I forget to mention that I am impatient?

Micah Girl

The Identity Code

2006-08-12T08:54:00.000-04:00

I have just started reading this new book by Larry Ackerman called the Identity Code: The 8 Essential Questions for Finding Your Purpose and Place in the World. I picked it up at the library and am finding it very engaging. Although it is not written from a Christian perspective, it is very respectful of spiritual and religious commitment as part of one's identity.

I am always looking for ways of knowing myself better and also for tools to teach others to do the same. Also, since my husband and I are so serious about looking ahead to a move in a couple of years, that means I should reconsider my career and where exactly I should go next. I may get an opportunity to reinvent myself completely or perhaps more truthfully, rediscover my authentic self in a new setting and challenge.

Hee-haw! (I've become re-addicted to country music again lately. A funny little habit I picked up as an undergraduate in NYC. Go figure.)

The first question and exercise has to do with Who am I? and encourages you to visualize yourself as separate from everyone else, including those you love and admire. I believe this is something I always have known. I've always felt alone in my own skin, different than my family, my friends, my peers, my coworkers. Even now I am a woman in a male-dominated denomination and ministry and know who I am. I'm a homeschooler--not a mainstream choice. My family is bicultural and not white bread typical Americana. So I skipped the first exercise. I may like these kinds of books and exercises, but never feel compelled to fill out every little requirement. (Rebel.)

On to the second question: What makes me special? I am supposed to identify the things I love doing most in order to unearth the passions that define me. Cool. One of my favorite topics: stuff I love.

Name the things you "love"--and love to do.

Reading and writing: Books, magazines, blogs, websites, the bible, bible studies, bible commentaries, theology, great novels esp. 19th century British, nonfiction of all types.

Reading aloud to my kids or anybody's kids.

A pile of books on my bedside table. Current news magazines. Health and nutrition mags.

Beautiful writing. Authenticity. The kind of writing that rocks the way you think about the world. Great picture books. Classic tales.

Cooking and nutrition: Finding the healthiest and most delicious food for my family and friends. Making salads. Baking bread from scratch. Baking cookies with my kids.

Cooking from scratch and modifying recipes to be healthier and more delicious. I don't like to be told what to do or to slavishly follow someone else's recipe!

Ministry: Creating community. Teaching the bible. Making relevant, practical applications of Christian spirituality to contemporary people. Mentoring younger ministers. Supervising the work of ministry. Setting a vision.

Humor: Doing and watching improvisational comedy. Garrison Keillor. Rowan Atkinson.

Psychology: How people learn, personality tests, insight into relationships, vocational counseling.

Education: Teaching Conversational English, teaching bible studies, teaching literature, having educational conversations with my kids, taking classes, learning new things, integrating new information into my life.

Relationships: Talking to younger women about love and marriage. Romantic movies (good ones, not cheesy ones). Reading about marriage, sexuality, fidelity. Reading about homeschooling, building a close family, helping kids to find their way and their purpose in the world.

Language and culture: Learning another language. Understanding cultural differences. Being able to connect with someone about their culture. Making someone feel welcome. Traveling.

Talk: Intelligent and witty talk radio (NPR, Lake Wobegon, What Do You Know?, This American Life) Intellectual conversations about things that matter. Great plays. Shakespeare. Games: crossword puzzles, Taboo, Guesstures, Scattergories, Trivial Pursuit, Jeopardy, etc.

I will come back to update this list later because I am sure there are more areas I've not yet found. I also need to discern the whys and the themes.

Micah Girl

Weight loss at last...at least a little

2006-08-11T08:54:00.000-04:00

I have been working hard since the beginning of the year to build healthy physical habits for myself. Most mornings I wake up and work out--either weight training or something aerobic with a DVD, and I have been watching what I eat carefully without going on any crazy diets. Although I have slimmed up and toned up, my weight was pretty static although sloooooooooowly going in the right direction. While we were on vacation and walking and swimming just for fun, I lost nearly four pounds seemingly overnight. So since January of this year I have lost eight pounds total. Although it's been a painfully slow decline on the scale, this is the kind of weight loss that stays off, because I am not messing up my metabolism and I am building muscle. I am encouraged.

I have read every smart book out there on metabolism and lifestyle change and am moving away from wheat (as much as possible) and trying to convert only to whole grains. I am increasing fresh fruit and vegetables (which is yummy, if a bit expensive) and getting radical cutting out the sugar and looking for it hiding in everything. I am starting fish oil supplements which are good for the heart, the skin and the metabolism, and would like to start eating salmon, but it's so pricey!!!! Chicken I can get cheap...salmon is another story. I am also increasing the green tea and limiting the coffee. I have so much more energy and feel younger and am praying that I will continue in this new discipline.

I turn 39 this December and if all goes well, my 40's will be the fittest decade of my life so far.

Micah Girl

What's most important thing in the world to you?

2006-08-09T08:12:00.000-04:00

This is a question for would-be writers. What is the most important thing in the world to you? Write about that...that is your topic.

Off the top of my head:

Living out faith in Jesus Christ
Marriage and true love
Teaching and education
Parenting
Finding your calling
Creativity
Passion
Spiritual freedom
Joy and contentment in all circumstances

Are these the themes of my life then? My desire to write has never gone away my whole life. Blogging has been sparse this summer because I needed vacation! But now as I look ahead over the next one or two years I am seeking a way into more writing so that if and when my husband and I transform our lives with a move to Charlottesville, Virginia (or some other place) then I will have some writing to fall back on as my vocation. I know that sounds crazy since it is notoriously hard to make a living writing, but I want something I can do at home that's creative and not in a corporate setting. If we leave this area and I leave my ministry position, I want to see if my ministry could take shape in a whole new way.

Lord, guide my steps. Let me hear you ask me questions and let me trust in you to know what to do!

Micah Girl

Mrs. Real Live Preacher

2006-08-09T07:27:00.000-04:00

There is a new blog that promises to be interesting: Sum of the Parts. (It is written by the wife of Real Live Preacher) She is a chaplain, a mom and so much more. Check it out!

Micah Girl

The imminent return of routine living

2006-08-08T07:57:00.000-04:00

As the summer begins to wind down, I am praying that God will allow me to pour all of my wonderful relaxation into momentum to face the challenges of homeschooling, ministry, shepherding, mothering, loving my husband, reaching out to my city and loving those around me. I have rested deeply, napped frequently, relaxed to the deepest reaches of my sabbath-hungry soul, and now I am facing the routines of my life with a renewed confidence that God is in charge of it all.

Help me, Lord, and guide me into every good thing for Your glory.

Amen.

Micah Girl

Prayers and feverish children

2006-07-17T07:47:00.000-04:00

My four year old was burning with fever last night and coughing horribly. My husband who doesn't worry much, was clearly worried about her and clearly exhausted. I prayed over my little one and anointed her head and her feet with oil because James 4:15 was impressed upon my heart. I have done this before with my oldest one who used to get terrible fevers and also frightening febrile seizures. The preciousness of life entrusted to you is magnified when your babies are sick. Thankfully this morning she woke up fairly cheerful and more like herself, although still sick.

As I was praying over her with confidence in the name of the Lord, I also had moments of doubt, which I answered with, "I believe, Lord. Help thou my unbelief." I remembered the miracles of Jesus and his healing of Peter's mother-in-law's fever and the resurrection of Jairus' daughter. And I believed in God for healing, and prayed for him to Help my lack of belief at the same time. Of course, we also were medicating her with cough syrup and ibuprofen which also are gifts from God, for which I always give thanks. I often think of children in the developing world who don't have the simplest medications.

I was also reminded that my prayers should always be so fervent for my children--not just for their physical health but for all aspects of their lives. I believe in the power of effectual, fervent prayer, Lord Jesus. Help thou my unbelief and my complacency. Life is too precious not to bathe in prayer.

Micah Girl

The Lads

2006-07-14T08:25:00.000-04:00

The Lads rock. A very cool mission team came to lead VBS at our church and Creator was one of the songs that they used with the kids. Click on the Creator video and enjoy their infectious, retro sound with an awesome message.

Micah Girl

Friday 5 Pet Peeves

2006-07-14T06:42:00.000-04:00

Here's my contribution to the Friday Five

1. Grammatical pet peeve--Correcting someone else's grammar. I always hear the mistakes, but I never fix them, unless they are made by my own children!

2. Household pet peeve--When someone gives herself a tour of my house and only the public areas are ready for guests!

3. Arts & Entertainment pet peeve--When people bring small children to wildly inappropriate movies that are sure to traumatize them.

4. Liturgical pet peeve--Poorly done PowerPoint for lyrics with misspellings.

5. Wild card--Drivers who do not pull over for emergency vehicles.

Bonus: What do I do that others might consider a pet peeve? I am sure my husband has a list if you'd like to email him.

Micah Girl

Common Spiritual Sense

2006-07-14T06:03:00.000-04:00

He who gets wisdom loves his own soul;
He who keeps understanding will find good.
Proverbs 19:8

Wow.

Seeking and obeying wisdom are good for you.

Common spiritual sense.

Micah Girl

Ongoing family fantasy

2006-07-11T15:15:00.000-04:00

My husband & I have this ongoing fantasy about selling our house which has greatly appreciated in value in our "entry level" middle class neighborhood and using the profits to move somewhere cheaper, probably south. I have mixed feelings about moving south. Partly it comes from the deeply ingrained Yankee culture which flows through my veins. Partly it comes from the feeling that I finally have a handle on my life here.

My ministry is so exciting. I finally feel like I know how to build and manage a ministry team, set a vision bigger than our present existence. I think I really "get" my college students and their culture. Our family life is good. We are involved in a small, healthy, growing church. We have friends in the neighborhood and in the community. I love homeschooling (although, of course, that can be done anywhere.) I know homeschoolers who homeschool in the city. I am not stuck in a Christian bubble where everyone I know looks and thinks the same. I bump into people I know when I am on campus, at the park, in the library or at the store. My parents and my older sister live only an hour away, so I can see them easily, although we are not as close as I would like.

The advantage, of course, to cutting and running is that we could be almost completely out of debt, except for a modest mortgage. With less debt we could travel more. We would make new friends, have new opportunities for ministry, we would learn new things. But is the financial incentive enough reason? Certainly not if God is not calling us elsewhere. If some of my husband's family lived somewhere other than mega-pricey Southern California then I would strongly consider relocation with less reservation.

Often I am the one most "high" on the idea of staring over in a picturesque and progressive college town, but lately when my husband says--"When we move in a couple of years..." I feel dread. Only God knows the future, and I am praying for discernment regarding our life as a family.

Micah Girl

Head, heart and gut

2006-07-10T07:05:00.000-04:00

As I was praying this morning I realized that most often, I like to live inside my head. It's safe in there. I have a great sense of control and expertise in thinking about things. Even though that which is inside my brain does not automatically come to pass, because I am not God, I do have a sense of being in charge.

As passionate and emotional as I can be, I do not like to trust in my emotions. I do not live in my heart, largely because it hurts. I have experienced great sorrow and disappointment and fear and do not wish to live in those shadows. So I trust my emotions only when I feel they are under the control of my brain or--ideally--the mind of Christ through the Holy Spirit.

Finally, I do trust my gut. When I have a sense of right or wrong deep within me, in that area which physically is my gut, woe to me if I do not listen to it. My gut is always right. My heart can be led astray and my mind can be deceived, but my gut is always right.

Ultimately, all three should be controlled by God so that I can discern what is right, so that I can love, so that I do the right things.

4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-9

Help me, Lord, to rejoice in You with my mind, my heart, and my gut--to think about You, to trust in You and to experience Your peace. I want to live like You, Lord, completely and holistically. Have mercy on me.

Micah Girl

Help me

2006-07-04T14:58:00.000-04:00

Lord, let me not be so wrapped up in knowing about You, and instead to seek to be obedient to that which I know. Let me be more interested in transformation than information, more in worship than in intellectual assent, more in love than in seeming wise.

Though you probe my heart and examine me at night,
though you test me, you will find nothing;
I have resolved that my mouth will not sin.
Psalm 17:3

Micah Girl

Oh, Happy Day!

2006-06-21T12:36:00.000-04:00

It is 71 degrees today. Not 90 with humidity that covers you like a wet blanket. 71! So comfortable that the fans are facing inside the house pulling in the lovely air from outdoors.

This morning I dropped off my 3 darlings at day camp and spent the morning doing a great workout and cleaning house. And I loved it! I am so affected by the weather, it's incredible. When we had weeks and weeks of rain, I thought I might just give up facing each new day. When the humidity comes I sit directly in front of the fan and wish for winter. When it's winter and the days are short, I think I must have seasonal affective disorder as well as an aversion to arctic winds because my tropical island fantasies go into overdrive (minus hurricanes, tsunamis and malaria).

I wish to enjoy the season and not complain. Today it is easy. The weather is perfect. My legs are shaved. My house is cool. Life is good.

11 See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
12 Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me."
Song of Solomon 2:11-13

If only my husband were home, then my joy would be complete.

Micah Girl

Anxiety

2006-06-15T07:41:00.000-04:00

I have been struggling with deep anxiety for the past I don't know how many days. My prayers are all about unburdening my anxious heart and letting go of those things that I have no control over. I know to cast my cares on God, but am surprised that I have to do it every morning in such a dramatic way. Perhaps I should not consider my own weakness so strange. Maybe it means that I am peeling away layers of self-sufficiency and learning to trust more. Certainly as the world seems to whirl out of control with natural disasters and terrorism and threats of pandemics, I have nowhere to go but to the rock that is higher than I. As I watch my children grow and face the challenges that are in front of them, young as they are, I can only grow in prayer or fall back in worry.

Help me, Lord, to trust in You, for everything. Calm my anxious thoughts and my worried soul.

Psalm 121
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Micah Girl

Aspiration and inspiration

2006-06-14T17:21:00.000-04:00

"I am like a little pencil in [God's] hand. He does the thinking. He does the writing. The pencil has only to be allowed to be used."
--Mother Teresa

"Do not have your concert first, and then tune your instruments afterwards. Begin the day with the Word of God and prayer, and get first of all into harmony with Him."
--Hudson Taylor

“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”
--Harriet Beecher Stowe

Friday Five -- Rain, rain (go away, please)

2006-06-09T17:27:00.000-04:00

Today's Friday Five is simple enough that I can do it. I can blog! My kids are doing their music lessons in the kitchen and I am enjoying some peace and quiet and catching up on email.

1. Favorite way to spend a rainy day
Baking bread. I've been doing that a lot since it's been raining practically non-stop and the spring is nearly gone.

2. Favorite song about rain
Rainy Days and Mondays--love the Carpenters!

Talking to myself and feeling old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

3. Favorite movie featuring rain
Any film noir with the rain on the streets and rivulets running down the windows.

4. Favorite piece of raingear, past or present
Spy trenchcoat

5. Favorite word for rain
La lluvia

Micah Girl

To blog or not to blog...

2006-06-08T07:12:00.000-04:00

To blog, or not to blog,--that is the question:--
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The rainy days that should be summer
Or to vent online about my daily grind
And by venting escape it?--To blog,--to kvetch...
To kvetch perchance to rant
Ay, there's the rub!

I actually have no complaints about my life, but am so busy living it right now that blogging is far away from my priorities. I am baking bread, and homeschooling, and doing bible studies with students, and preparing to have family visit from far and wide. I have long term planning I must do...which is not currently happening. I have administrative stuff I should do...which I hate. And I have three children who enjoy playing spelling bee and doing Tae Bo and reading stories and that is so much more fun.

Alas, poor Micah Girl, I knew ye well.

Micah Girl

Global Girl Network and Women of Influence

2006-05-24T18:47:00.000-04:00

Did you know that the first lady of Paraguay, and mother of six, Maria Penaya de Duarte is a socially active, evangelical Christian? What do you know about the first female Prime Minister of Haiti, Portia Miller? Check out the Global Girl Network and read more.

Micah Girl

All the power in the universe

2006-05-23T07:34:00.000-04:00

What would you do with all the power in the universe at your fingertips?

Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God;

Not only are you powerful, but you are God and you are headed for glory?

so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. (John 13:3-5)

How's your attitude?

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
(Philippians 2:5-8)

Micah Girl