Friday, November 18, 2005

Day to day

It is in the day to day of life, the petty squabbles, the endless cycle of housecleaning, the need to fill out paperwork, the unreturned email, the guilty feelings about not keeping all the balls in the air are when you feel like your three full time occupations that you do simultaneously are not done well enough. It is in this muddle of stuff that I feel overwhelmed by inadequacy.

Not most of the time, of course. Most of the time I am confident and cheerful and grateful for the privilege I have of being married to my love, homeschooling my kids, ministering to college students and living in a comfortable home. But times like this, at the end of the semester, when people around me are unraveling with workload stress, when I am tired and feel the push of holiday celebrations rushing in on me, when my inadequacies are highlighted by those that I love who feel I am neglecting something that is important to them, then I grow discouraged and cannot sleep.

These are also the times that I chafe when I think of the way I hammer myself with the ideals of a Proverbs 31 woman, and yet think if I could only achieve that then all would be smooth.

What I really want is be clothed with strength and dignity; and able to laugh at the days to come. (Proverbs 31:25) Not to be sleepless and cranky and overtired.

Micah Girl

1 Comments:

Blogger Kiki Cherry said...

MicahGirl,

It's great to know that there is another person out there crazy enough to attempt being a wife, mother and campus minister. But I don't try to homeschool as well!!!! You're pretty amazing, by the sound of it.

We have our worship on Thursday nights, too, so I am intimately acquainted with the coffee and ibuprofen routine you were talking about. I drag my kids with me to campus, but God has been good. Even though most of their tests are on Friday mornings, they are both still "A" students. I think that is a direct result of a dependence on Matt. 6:33-34.

I enjoyed your blog. Thanks for sharing.

7:09 PM  

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