Prayer and high anxiety

We are praying for the closing on our house which keeps getting put off because of verification requirements for our buyers' financing. My husband seems like he is not worried. I am incredibly anxious and praying for resolution all the time. At this point it looks like we won't be closing until the end of this month (it was supposed to be last month) and I am just praying that it will all come together for all parties involved.

We had our first college worship service this week and it was so great to be back. I taught and led an interactive discussion and it was so nice. When I am with my college students--I feel like I have the best job in the world. When I am homeschooling my kids--I feel the same. As we transition out of here, I probably won't be a college minister anymore (although I expect never to stop ministering to collegians) and I may or may not be a homeschooler depending on how we feel God is leading us. My identity is so tied up in these two jobs, that it makes me nervous to think of who am I without these tasks?

In the meantime, God is providing for all of our needs. We have joy and meaning and purpose. We have a church family that we love. We are constantly making new homeschooling friends. We have new college students in town to love and care for.

And who of us by worrying can add a single hour to her life--or hour to her week for that matter?

Micah Girl

God is moving us out...

Our house is under agreement. We got a good offer after only two weeks on the market. Wow.

We are scrambling for short-term rental so that I can spend one more semester with my college students and help with transition in the ministry and also at our church.

I just received a copy of The Divine Hours, Pocket Edition, Phyllis Tickle. I can hardly wait to dig in. Will post my thoughts once I do. Don't you just love it when you get great books to read and review??

I still spend daydream time looking for homes in Lexington, KY--which actually will be home in December!

The Lord has helped us to keep our heads so far, and I trust He will continue to guide us.

Micah Girl

The next spacious place

Move on to the next spacious place...

Psalm 18:19 He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Psalm 31: 7-8

7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.

8 You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.

I often describe my life as a spacious place--my husband, my children, my ministry here to college students, my circle of homeschooling friends, my church, my neighbors. In my twenties when I went through a period of deep grief and mourning after the death of a boyfriend, I was at the point of utter despair. And I cried out to God who rescued me, healed me, and called me out to a new and spacious place. I met my husband, started seminary, got married, started a family and began to minister to college students. A sweet, sweet life.

And now as we have prayed and talked and planned and prayed and talked and planned, we have decided to move on from here. We are cleaning and painting our house and preparing to put it on the market. We are seeking closure in our spiritual responsibilities here and looking to pass on our passions to other leaders. We are saying goodbye to friends who are leaving also because God is calling them to other places--home to China, relocating to Texas, moving to Colorado. And my circle here is tightening on my heart and part of me wants to hold on for dear life because it is familiar and comfortable.

I was praying last night in my room, in the heat of a sweltering night, with the ceiling fan and the window fan blowing over my thoughts. The Lord led me to a specific verse:

Psalm 103:5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

Sometimes the Holy Spirit impresses on my heart a verse, usually from a psalm, and then I need to go look it up. This one reminded me that the desires that Jesus has placed in my heart will be satisfied with good things and that change will renew my youth and make all things fresh. And God spoke to me and told me, "Move on to the next spacious place." Over and over again. "Move on to the next spacious place."

So I plan to move on to the next spacious place. In spite of my fears.

Micah Girl

Waiting for my name

I respect the person of the Holy Spirit and His work in my life. I have heard Him speak to me through His Word, in my heart, in my circumstances and through other people. Sometimes, however, I envy my charismatic sisters and brothers who always seem to have a fresh word from God--a dream, a vision, a sign from Heaven. It's not that I feel out of touch with God--just that He hasn't yet spoken to me in that kind of drama.

I have been studying and teaching about Jacob for the last few months. Today I was reading through Genesis 32 which I will be teaching on Sunday morning. I was struck at how God reveals himself to Jacob in this chapter--first through revealing His angels to Jacob and then in a mano a mano wrestling match. Wow. I would like that kind of revelation in my life, although I expect that I, too, would walk with a limp after coming face to face with God.

The other thing that strikes me is the way Jacob names a place after an encounter with God. After wrestling with God he names the place Peniel which means "face of God." I have never named a place or erected a stone monument to an encounter I had with God. Today I was burning with desire to name our next home when we move. But what name? What would it signify? Where would I place the nameplate? How would I tell the story to my visitors?

Jacob also gets a new name--Israel. What is my new name, Lord?

I am awaiting a word from the Lord, a sign that He is directing me to new lands, new challenges, new adventures. I am waiting for my name.

Micah Girl

A spacious place

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me Psalm 18:19

You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place. Psalm 31:8

Whenever the Lord leads, the final destination is always a spacious place I think. The hard times in my life when I have been squeezed from all sides have always been followed by the freedom of space.

I think the longing for a spacious place is innate in all people. The quest for a spacious place is the sentiment behind "the pursuit of happiness." The desire for unfettered openness is the urge behind all great adventures.

I want to never take for granted the open space I already have as a child of the kingdom even as I seek for my next adventure, my next free space to roam and live.

Guide my steps, Lord.

Micah Girl

Place

The power of place.

I am obsessed with it.

Thinking and praying about moving is my hobby. I visit realty websites and plug in four bedroom homes like a blue-haired, sparkle-jacketed octogenarian plays the slot machines. "JACKPOT! 4 BR, good zip code, wow--nearly 1/5 of an acre and only 150,000?"

I have virtual conversations with people I've never met and pour out my heart's desire about moving. "My husband and I are really looking for a welcoming community where we can plug in right away and where the kids can make friends. We'd love for them to have friends up and down the street."

I read the paper in Lexington online everyday. I know about the murder suspect who was let out on a reduced bail of $1,000 and never showed up for his electronic montitoring bracelet. A city-wide search ensued and he was found asleep in his own bed unaware of the manhunt. Almost comic.

I know that the University of Kentucky has the #9 ranked doctoral program in educational psychology--and that's the one I have my sights on.

I expect that when we visit Lexington in May we will be impressed, excited and nervous. I expect that we will have supernatural peace about the next steps for us. I expect that God will let us know--yes, this is the place for you to go.

I also keep in my mind and my heart the truth that the longing I have is not really for a friendly community with educational opportunites and lower cost of living. It's not for a four bedroom house in a great zip code that costs less than our townhome. It's a spiritual longing that never will be fulfilled. I am an alien and a stranger on earth. I am seeking after a country of my own--a heavenly one prepared by God himself. I find this country by faith and will not see it on this side of heaven. However, wherever we go we are to be faithful witnesses of the kingdom of God and ambassadors of heaven. Father, guide our steps.

Micah Girl