Merry Christmas

Christmas is a very emotional time. Family is wonderful--but stressful. Different expectations about the holiday are hard to juggle. My parents are going through quite a bit of stress right now with my father's recent Parkinson's diagnosis and trying to move their lives from their 2nd floor apartment to the first. I will be returning to their house as often as I can to help them de-clutter and clean.

My husband and I are going away for our 10th anniversary next week--and we are taking our three kids. We'll stay somewhere in a suite and take the kids to the hotel pool and let them watch cartoons (a rare treat) while we enjoy relaxing. I feel like I've always been married and yet I can remember the very first weekend I noticed my one and only across the room. He was wearing jeans and a big blue down ski jacket and had such a handsome face. When he began to pursue me I was flattered and flustered. It doesn't take much for me to remember that feeling...

And we also are making plans to visit Lexington, Kentucky in May. We are inviting our in-laws who live in pricey Southern CA to come with us to check it out, too. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could all move out at the same time?

So many things swirling in my head. But deep in my heart is the peace that passes understanding and for that I am grateful.

Micah Girl

1st Day of Winter

Shortest day of the year...

Which means, of course, that starting tomorrow we will gradually get more and more hours of daylight.

Thanks be to God.

Micah Girl

Christmas funk

I'm in a funk. I have bursts of energy and holiday cheer and then I sink into dark clouds of sadness.

I am on break from work and am busy inventing a new routine so that I can get all the holiday stuff done and also connect with my family.

I long for some moments of spiritual retreat, but think that I will have to steal those until after Christmas when perhaps I can actually rest some.

I am holding onto a few promises this morning:

I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
before the "gods" I will sing your praise.

I will bow down toward your holy temple
and will praise your name
for your love and your faithfulness,
for you have exalted above all things
your name and your word.

When I called, you answered me;
you made me bold and stouthearted. --Ps. 138: 1-3

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; (!!!!)
your love, O LORD, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands. --Ps. 138:8

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. --Ps. 139:7-12

Micah Girl, the bold and stouthearted one (Ps. 138:3)

Nearest book meme

Saw this meme at St. Inuksuk's Blog Here are the rules...

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next four sentences on your blog, along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that “cool” or “intellectual” book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest!

Oooh, look what I ended up with! One of my favorite topics!

Sex is, in Paul's image, a joining of your body to someone else's. In baptism, you have become Christ's Body, and it is Christ's Body that you must give you permission to join His Body to another body. In the Christian grammar, we have no right to sex. The place where the church confers that privilege on you is the wedding; weddings grant us license to have sex with one person.
--Real Sex, Lauren Winner (This is a must-read book, by the way!)

Do tell me if you are going to play!

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

Quite a week

This week has been filled with highs and lows. It started with a birthday party for my daughter that was attended by her friends and and their families and some of my extended family. We were packed into our house and everyone had a wonderful time.

Sunday night I get a call in the middle of the night from my sister that my dad is in the hospital. He had been at the party and in good spirits.

The next day we go down to my parents' house so that I can be with mom and dad at the hospital and we get him discharged and make plans to help move my parents from the second floor of their home to the first floor.

We come back home, I get the kids to various homeschool events, and get back into my routine here.

My dad received a diagnosis yesterday of Parkinson's Disease--which is a relief so that we know what we are fighting now.

Today we go to a play with 37 other homeschoolers that I organized, I go grocery shopping for a guys' breakfast my husband is holding and a lunch we are having after church on Sunday, and need to get the kids home in time for music lessons.

Still haven't gotten around to Christmas presents. In addition to whatever we give I usually bake up a storm and haven't gotten to those preparations yet.

Through it all, God has been so good, my husband has been my number one support and a practical voice of wisdom, and my kids have trooped on with little complaint.

It's been quite a week!

Happy Feet

My husband and I took the kids yesterday to see Happy Feet. The opening musical sequence was brilliant--amazing choral singing chock full of pop tunes and pop cultural references as we watch Norma Jean and Memphis, who later become the parents of Mumble, the penguin with happy feet, fall in love.

Later as Mumble, the dancing penguin who doesn't fit in, starts tapping out his heartsong I was convinced that he looked just like the brilliant Savion Glover, tapdancer extraordinaire. At the closing credits Glover is indeed credited with choreography.

The film itself is typical kid fare with adult jokes that go over most kids' heads, but a serious environmental message that surprised me. The CGI effects are amazing and my husband and I enjoyed ourselves very much.

Micah Girl

Birthday today

Today is my birthday. And I'm 39. The real 39--the one you hit after 38, not the mythical 39 that people jokingly claim they are.

Today is also the 65th anniversary of Pearl Harbor Day. As a girl I thought that Pearl Harbor Day sounded pretty until I realized the historic carnage associated with it. But I still like sharing such a historic marker with the day of my birth.

I am so grateful today for so many things.

My husband, the love of my life, my biggest fan, and the most gorgeous guy I know. He's also smart, loving, a great father, loves Jesus, fun at a party...you get the picture.

My three amazing children--8, 6 and 4. They are unique and beautiful creations of God. They are my pride and joy.

My health.

The wealth I have been blessed with--a home of our own, plenty of food for my kids, two cars, the freedom to make life-changing decisions about where and when we will move, fresh water that flows from our taps--so, so much that is easy to take for granted.

The desire to create and communicate.

A calling to minister to others, especially college students and young adults.

The yearning in my gut that urges me to push onward, to discover again and again what I was created for, and to learn to follow Jesus in new and fresh ways because I love Him and He reached down to love me. He became one just like me.

Thanks, Lord, for all you have done.

Micah Girl

Movie recommendations

Update on melancholic optimism...I am feeling lighter everyday. I don't like to keep secrets, not even about future plans that have not yet come to pass. The more people in my real life that I talk to, the lighter my heart becomes. And so far no earthquakes to swallow me up, no buildings falling down around me.

I have been watching and reading some very interesting stuff lately that I will be posting about soon. I really need to do more reviews because there is some terrific stuff out there.

Here are two quick recommendations for two very different movies:

Shakespeare Behind Bars is an incredible documentary about prisoners who put on a full production of The Tempest. The way these men handle the language is beautiful. Even more engaging, however, is watching them struggle with themes of grace and forgiveness. Very, very good. Available on DVD.

Stranger Than Fiction is in theaters now. Don't click the link for the trailer unless you're willing to see a few spoilers for the film. Will Ferrell, Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffman, Queen Latifah in a very funny and surprisingly moving film about a writer with writer's block and her main character.

Micah Girl

Melancholic optimist--OR why I have a split personality...

We have begun to tell friends about our likely move in the next year. This is a really big deal for me. I get lost in my thoughts and would happily live inside my own head, so I am more than happy to plan and dream and wonder about something forever and keep it all to myself. As I have started talking seriously to my parents and extended family, and especially now that we have started sharing it with our inner circle of friends it's becoming real to me.

Tomorrow, I need to talk to my whole ministry team about it. Then I need to talk to my boss, who himself is leaving sooner rather than later. Then we need to talk to our pastor and his wife. Every time I speak it out loud, it is realer. I am very emotional about the whole thing, weepy and frightened sometimes, excited and dreamy at other times. My husband is so even-keeled that he could withstand a hurricane of change, I think, without mussing up his hair. I, however, have a deeply melancholic heart but an optimistic spirit which yanks me simultaneously in two different directions.

And all of this is still not set in stone--it is still a topic of prayer. But my brain and spirit keep pulling me back to Lexington, Kentucky. Over and over again. A place I haven't even visited yet, but a town which may be our home in 2007 or 2008. A place where we will raise our kids, my husband will work as a nurse practitioner and I will homeschool our kids and pursue a doctorate--I hope! A place where we don't yet know anyone, but we'll surely settle in and make a community, just as we've done here. A place where I will spend my 40s! I turn 39 next week and it's hard to believe that someone so young could be getting to be a woman of a certain age. Didn't pushing 40 used to be much older than this??

I'm tired. Emotionally exhausted. And rambling.

Good night.

Micah Girl